the mind of melis……

Two posts in one night?! Go HERE for some fun that will result in something like this:

Last night I was asked by The Little Woman if I could help her with some homework.

Now, Internet, I like to think I am a fairly intelligent woman. If someone were to ask, I think I would say I can be articulate and have the capacity for some pretty sophisticated critical thinking. You know, brains kinda.

But last night. Oh Internet, last night my 5th grade child, she of the sparkling eyes and brilliant mind, she, of the scrabble seeking superiority, THAT child, that I birthed and loved– INTERNET THAT CHILD hit me with a reality check that not even I can deny.

When I asked her what she needed help with, four little words reduced my high opinion of myself.

PARTIAL QUOTIENT DIVISION ALGORITHM.

Huh? Partial whosit whatsit? Are you speaking English??

I had no clue. I looked it up.
A division algorithm is a procedure which states that given any two integers a and d, with d ≠ 0, there exist unique integers q and r such that a = qd + r and 0 ≤ r < |d |, where |d | denotes the absolute value of d. (Insert image of me looking utterly and totally completely confused).

WTF? Ummm….OK. No baby, I can’t help you. I will have to hire someone for that. I have no mind for numbers. Or algorithms, partial or otherwise. Mama is so very sorry….

All I can say, is that child can balance my checkbook for me FROM NOW ON.

Tonight, while playing pool on Yahoo:

poolking07: hi
(me): hello
poolking07: asl

Note: I hate this crap. It’s usually a precursor to some pervert trying to get a little online action. LAME.

2nd Note: ASL stands for age/sex/location. It bears noting that I have at times been a geriatric non-english speaking Ecuadoran woman in order to avoid having to comunicate at all. Como? No habla!
Moving on.

(me): nah
poolking07: Common, how old are you.
(me): 900
poolking07: No you’re not
(me): OK no I’m not.
poolking07: so?
(me): so what?
poolking07: how old?
(me): how old what?
poolking07: HOW OLD ARE YOU
(me): 77
poolking07: really?
(me): no, not really
poolking07: ummm…..
poolking07: so what do you like to do
(me): knit
poolking07: knit? whats that
(me): knitting, like with needles
(me): yarn….
poolking07: oh…so….
poolking07: do you have a bf?
(me): do I have a broken fence?
poolking07: no, a bf
(me): a blue face?
poolking07: A BOY FRIEND
(me): oh a boy friend
poolking07: ya
poolking07: so do you?
(me): do I what?
poolking07: HAVE ONE
(me): one what? You really are very hard to talk to, you know
(me): explain yourself
poolking07: huh?
(me): you aren’t even making sense.
(me): here we have this fantastic chance for communication, and you are wasing my time with your gibberish.
poolking07: huh?
(me): I’ve had enough of this nonsense.
poolking07: ummm…..

Internet, I can only say that by this point I am LOL-ing and really, where’s the harm in that?

Ive been accused at more than one time in my life, of having an exhuberant optimism and enthusiasm when I meet someone new. He’s fabulous! We get along great! It’s wonderful! So much in common!
And Internet, that usually lasts five  minutes.
 
I have a self designed survival mechanism (which is a basic method of picking apart said prospect in a manner not unlike a Seinfeld episode, resulting in a “Thank you for playing, your parting gift is at the door” conclusion). And that worked for me
for a remarkably long time.

Until now.

However, in perhaps what may be a very fine example of karmic reconciliation, I have been given my parting gift, such as it is.
And that’s ok, mostly. Because in the midst of it all, I had a little break through.
I actually took a chance on someone.
Thats like a big deal for me.

Trying to make a connection, brief or otherwise, is hard. I mean, surely I am not the only jaded being on the plant right? So many people insulate themselves and build the walls and create elaborate obstacles to happiness out of the fear of being UN happy.
Yet in spite of all of that, they still try. I tried Internet. Because I do kinda get that you can’t keep doing the same things and continue to expect different results. You can’t hang out in your comfort zone and expect the newness of attraction or anything  else resembling affection to show up on your doorstep all un-announced and gift wrapped.

So. Lesson: Sieze the chance to be happy even if it scares the crap out of you and doesn’t work out.

Isn’t that what this life is for?

I can’t sleep.
So I logged on.

I read an inspiring post on Cjane and another on Dooce. I checked in with Secondhand Bek and caught up with her holiday news. I checked on Mimi Smartypants  but she hasn’t posted in quite some time. I popped in on Maggie to see what kind of fabulousness she had going on, and then mosied (yes, I mosied) (how does one mosie? maybe I did it wrong) on over to Jet Set…..and let me just tell you, she is one witty writer.

(It’s incredible, this invention that is the internet community. I feel like I know these people, yet of course I do not, but yet somehow I kinda DO. Tres incroyable!)

And here I am, posting about nothing much except insomnia and a couple of thoughts about what I read tonight.

Have you all read Cjane? She is a blogger in Utah who is incredibly kind and real and very easy to relate to. Her post tonight was about building a daily altar that would help her to keep her blessings in mindful contemplation. Metaphorically speaking. And you know, that Cjane is on to something. I think I very easily tend to take all that I am blessed with for granted…it’s good to have reminders. Do check her out.

Dooce posted about the difficulties of motherhood and marriage, respectively. I think they are both hard– but in my experience, marriage was harder….hence my singleton status. You know though, I’ll take it. Being a mom to two wonderful girls has been the most rewarding experience in my entire life, even when it’s exhausting, or frustrating, or just plain scarry. It’s all balanced out by the sheer joy that is a early morning cuddle, or the sound of them giggling. There is nothing more perfect.

Bek posted about her holiday at the in-laws and the amazing tamales and wonderful time her kids had with their cousins. My girls too cannot get enough of “cousin time” when they get the chance, and I so get how awesome it is to watch your kids love that time.

OH! Also, today, I shared some email with a friend in CA, who gets me thinking about writing creatively everytime we connect. He published a few short stories of mine in a book called Chicken Fluff and Other Stuff, which is a compilation of stories by Hispanic writers. So….I may have a project in the works to share with you sometime….

OK Goodnight Internet. Sweet Dreams……..